I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
