your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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