ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
