Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
