She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
