i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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