why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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