So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
