is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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