Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
