im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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