Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
