i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
