yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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