Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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