Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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