everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
