I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
