Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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