Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
