god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
