i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
