i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
