We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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