That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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