i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
