quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
