She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
