your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
