True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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