Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
