who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
