I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
