I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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