i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
