You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
