So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
