is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
