If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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