can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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