chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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