well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
