So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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