The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
