Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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