then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
