hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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