You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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