Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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