i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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