better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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