let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
